Dear readers and parents,
A common concern breastfeeding mothers report is that although their child is at the age to be physically able to sleep through the night (around 3-4 months)they keep mommy up by waking up 3-4 times a night to nurse. What is going on?
When babies are first born they need to eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day and night in order to get enough calories. At birth, most infants stomachs are only the size of a quarter. This means they need less milk to fill them up but they burn through the milk quickly thus needing to eat more often. When your baby reaches the age of 3 or 4 months they have probably developed some sort of routine and are understanding the difference between nighttime and daytime sleeping. They can also go for longer stretches without eating. At this age the goal is to fill up their day time tummies so their longest stretch will be in the middle of the night.
Sometimes a breastfed baby begins to sleep longer stretches around 3 months which is very exciting for parents. However, at some point around 4-6 months they begin to wake up more often (every 2 hours) and stop sleeping long stretches in the middle of the night. Today's question is Why?
What may be happening...
As a breastfeeding infant, your baby's primary goal is to begin developing a secure relationship with their caregiver which means they learn to trust that you as their parent will meet their needs when they need something. To an infant they are just beginning to understand this world and how to survive. So the goal for parents is to be attentive and loving to their infants during the first 3 months of life so their baby learns that they are safe. After the first 3 months your baby has probably learned that they are safe and well taken care of but now they are beginning to have preferences and are learning how to get what they "want" not necessarily what they "need". As parents your job now is to try to meet your babies needs by giving them what they want but also begin introducing boundaries and teaching them self soothing skills. Now it is time to make parenting decisions. Your breastfed infant has now learned that they love breastfeeding and they love their mommy. What is probably going on in the middle of the night is that they "want" you. They "want" to snuggle, they "want" to pacify on the breast, they may wake up and "want" you to put them back to sleep. Often they are not waking up to eat.
Now that you know what may be going on for your baby, now what do you do about it? Before we begin any changes in the nighttime feeding arrangement, we must first look at your babies routine during the day. Babies need structure and routine. It helps them understand what is coming next and what is expected of them.
Step #1: Routine
Review or establish a routine for your baby. Your routine can be flexible but should have some structure. Begin by purchasing a notebook and start recording what time your infant wakes up in the morning, times they eat, and designated bedtime. If you do not have a routine start by writing out your ideal routine that would work with your family's schedule.
Things to look for when reviewing your baby's routine...
1. How often do they eat? How long at each feeding? How long of stretch imbetween feedings.
2. When are your babies naps during the day? How long? How does your baby fall asleep? Where are her naps? Is their a routine at bedtime so she knows it is time to sleep?
It is common if you are reading this that you realize that your baby does not have a routine. That is okay, however it is time to establish one and begin following it daily. A baby's daytime routine is directly related to sleeping through the night. Creating a routine for your breastfed baby is the first step to increase stretches of sleep at night.
Step #2 Baby Checklist
Now that you have a set routine (check former blog post for more info), lets look for possible night waking causes.
Ask yourself...
Questions:
1. Is my child eating enough during the day?
2. Is my child getting at least 2-4 hours (2-3 naps daily) of sleep during the day?
3. Is my child sleeping more than 4 hours during the day?
4. Does my child no how to fall asleep without the breast?
These questions will point you to the possible solution...
Answers:
1.If your baby eats every 2 hours throughout the day, this is not a long enough stretch for your baby's body to adjust to going longer stretches at night. At five months, your baby should be able to go at least 3 hours between each feeding. The way to correct this is to start at the beginning of the day and only offer the breast after 3 hours. During the first stretch your baby will more than likely get hungry at their normal 2 hours but you need to distract them and hold them off to 3 hours. This will retrain them to eat more at each feeding thus increasing the amount of food they eat throughout the day.
2. If your baby is not getting at least 2 hours of sleep during the day, then your child is overtired and is having difficulty staying asleep. The solution is to develop a daily sleep routine and help your child get longer naps. Naps should be in the crib (or your families designated sleep area). It should be dark and calm in the room with a form of white noise to drown out daytime noises and to help keep baby sleeping. Pick a designated time for bedtime and try to stick with it. Again focus on developing routine. Create bedtime routine that may consist of a bath and books or just pj's and sometime in the rocking chair.
3. If your child is sleep more than 4 hours during the day, I would suggest keeping it to a 4 hour maximum. The best way to do this is to have a set routine with two 2 hour long naps which are at the same time everyday. Wake your baby up buy turning on the lights and turning off the white noise at about 2 hours.
4. More than likely your baby does not know how to go to sleep without the breast so they wake up often and need you to soothe them or they are waking up because they miss you and just "want" you to put them back to sleep. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to start crib training. Another helpful thing is to have dad go in the room and put her back to sleep with a bottle if it is time to eat. This will show your baby that it is not always mom and this usually encourages them to stay asleep.
Step #3 Make Changes
Now that you have an idea of what may be causing the night wakings, try one of my suggested solutions. If you need additional support or if you think it may be time for crib training, you can contact myself or your local postpartum doula for support.
Postpartum Doulas
www.honestfamilyservices.com
www.cappa.net
www.coloradodoulaassoication.com
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservics.com
Showing posts with label swaddle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label swaddle. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
How do I teach my baby to go to sleep on their own?
Dear parents and readers,
Teaching our infants to sleep through the night can be tiresome and frustrating, however it is very important. There are different ways that experts suggest on how to teach an infant to self soothe or fall asleep on their own. Recently a concerned parent asked me if there is a way to teach self soothing without letting your infant "cry it out". My answer to that is "yes, but" there are ways to teach your infant how to soothe themselves through opportunities and practice, however there is no way to guarantee that tears will not be shed.
Most families are working towards a goal of being able to put their child down for bed or nap while they are awake and being confident that their child can fall asleep on their own. Now this may not happen until a child is 2 or 3 years old or as early as 4 or 5 months, however it depends on the parents expectations and determination.
Before I provide suggestion on how to teach self soothing without "crying it out",
Lets talk a little about crying. Infant crying is the most important way babies have of communicating their needs. Babies don't have spoken words to tell us what they need or like or feel. Instead, they have a language all their own. Feet-kicking, hand-waving, head-turning, and different kinds of cries are the "words." Understanding crying is important for parents so they can learn to distinguish which need their infant is expressing based on the sound of their cry. In regards to teaching infants to self soothe, just remember if your child is safe, fed, dry, and securely attached then they will be completely okay crying for a few minutes without you reassuring them. With every transition there is likely to be a few tears since it is your babies way of communicating and they have learned how to get what they want.
Here are a few tips on how to teach your baby how to fall asleep on their own...
First off, developmentally an infant is capable of developing a regular sleep routine and self soothing techniques around the age of 4months. Prior to the 4 month mark, infants are still needing to eat every few hours throughout the night and most importantly, are learning that they can trust their caregivers to meet their needs.
The first thing to distinguish before you start teaching your child self soothing, is to decide whether or not your child feels safe. This means that you want to think about how your infant has been treated over the last few months. Questions to ask yourself include, When my baby cries has she been tended to? Has her environment been consistent? Has she been exposed to any violence or stress within the home? When I pick her up to soothe her does she calm down quickly? Does she know that her needs will be met when she needs something?
If your answers point to the fact that she has been given every opportunity to bond to a caregiver and she now knows that her needs will be met, this means that she has more than likely developed a "secure relationship". This means she knows she is safe and she trusts you. Now you can begin to challenge her by teaching her self soothing which is a valuable lifelong skill.
Teaching Self Soothing
1. Develop a regular sleep and feeding routine. (See Post on Sleeping Through the Night)
2. Routine should include a calm dark room with consistent white noise. It should also include a tight swaddle or a sleep sac for larger babies. This routine may also include a bottle and up to 10 minutes of rocking.
3. First goal is to be consistent with sleep routine for at least 2 weeks. Once baby is used to sleeping in crib at certain times, then we can begin to wean her from needing to be rocked/swayed to sleep.
4. Introduce opportunities to self soothe. The way to do this is to follow your normal sleep routine, which probably includes rocking, but start by laying your infant down in crib before they fall completely asleep. Walk away for 5 minutes. If they did not fall asleep, pick them up and rock them again. Try to lay them down again before they are completely asleep and repeat process. This allows opportunities for them to learn to self soothe. It may not work on day one so I suggest trying 2 or 3 times on the first day then go ahead and let them fall completely asleep so they get their nap. Repeat this everyday. They will eventually get more used to the idea and will eventually fall asleep during the 5 minutes where you walk away and they are left alone.
Some infants cry when they are put down before completely asleep. The first step is to lay them down and walk away for 5 minutes. When babies are really tired, they may fall asleep on their own after about 5-10 minutes of fussing or they will get mad and begin to cry hard. The goal is to pick them up and try again before they get really mad because it will be difficult for them to fall back asleep.
5. Be consistent. This is the closest option I know for not letting your child "cry it out" because it is only allowing a short 5 minute window for infants to try to put themselves to sleep or cry. "Cry it out" method includes increased periods of time where the infants are left alone to cry themselves asleep, thus eventually learning that they Can fall asleep without mom. The crying will subsequently decrease during each nap until they go down peacefully.
Remember, your child knows that they are safe and they know that you have not abandoned them. You are making the important parenting decision to teach you child a new life long skill. Sometimes parenting decisions are difficult although they are very important. You can do this. It is in the best interest of your entire family. Just be consistent and give yourself breaks. You can expect to see progress after at least 1 week of consistency. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Teaching our infants to sleep through the night can be tiresome and frustrating, however it is very important. There are different ways that experts suggest on how to teach an infant to self soothe or fall asleep on their own. Recently a concerned parent asked me if there is a way to teach self soothing without letting your infant "cry it out". My answer to that is "yes, but" there are ways to teach your infant how to soothe themselves through opportunities and practice, however there is no way to guarantee that tears will not be shed.
Most families are working towards a goal of being able to put their child down for bed or nap while they are awake and being confident that their child can fall asleep on their own. Now this may not happen until a child is 2 or 3 years old or as early as 4 or 5 months, however it depends on the parents expectations and determination.
Before I provide suggestion on how to teach self soothing without "crying it out",
Lets talk a little about crying. Infant crying is the most important way babies have of communicating their needs. Babies don't have spoken words to tell us what they need or like or feel. Instead, they have a language all their own. Feet-kicking, hand-waving, head-turning, and different kinds of cries are the "words." Understanding crying is important for parents so they can learn to distinguish which need their infant is expressing based on the sound of their cry. In regards to teaching infants to self soothe, just remember if your child is safe, fed, dry, and securely attached then they will be completely okay crying for a few minutes without you reassuring them. With every transition there is likely to be a few tears since it is your babies way of communicating and they have learned how to get what they want.
Here are a few tips on how to teach your baby how to fall asleep on their own...
First off, developmentally an infant is capable of developing a regular sleep routine and self soothing techniques around the age of 4months. Prior to the 4 month mark, infants are still needing to eat every few hours throughout the night and most importantly, are learning that they can trust their caregivers to meet their needs.
The first thing to distinguish before you start teaching your child self soothing, is to decide whether or not your child feels safe. This means that you want to think about how your infant has been treated over the last few months. Questions to ask yourself include, When my baby cries has she been tended to? Has her environment been consistent? Has she been exposed to any violence or stress within the home? When I pick her up to soothe her does she calm down quickly? Does she know that her needs will be met when she needs something?
If your answers point to the fact that she has been given every opportunity to bond to a caregiver and she now knows that her needs will be met, this means that she has more than likely developed a "secure relationship". This means she knows she is safe and she trusts you. Now you can begin to challenge her by teaching her self soothing which is a valuable lifelong skill.
Teaching Self Soothing
1. Develop a regular sleep and feeding routine. (See Post on Sleeping Through the Night)
2. Routine should include a calm dark room with consistent white noise. It should also include a tight swaddle or a sleep sac for larger babies. This routine may also include a bottle and up to 10 minutes of rocking.
3. First goal is to be consistent with sleep routine for at least 2 weeks. Once baby is used to sleeping in crib at certain times, then we can begin to wean her from needing to be rocked/swayed to sleep.
4. Introduce opportunities to self soothe. The way to do this is to follow your normal sleep routine, which probably includes rocking, but start by laying your infant down in crib before they fall completely asleep. Walk away for 5 minutes. If they did not fall asleep, pick them up and rock them again. Try to lay them down again before they are completely asleep and repeat process. This allows opportunities for them to learn to self soothe. It may not work on day one so I suggest trying 2 or 3 times on the first day then go ahead and let them fall completely asleep so they get their nap. Repeat this everyday. They will eventually get more used to the idea and will eventually fall asleep during the 5 minutes where you walk away and they are left alone.
Some infants cry when they are put down before completely asleep. The first step is to lay them down and walk away for 5 minutes. When babies are really tired, they may fall asleep on their own after about 5-10 minutes of fussing or they will get mad and begin to cry hard. The goal is to pick them up and try again before they get really mad because it will be difficult for them to fall back asleep.
5. Be consistent. This is the closest option I know for not letting your child "cry it out" because it is only allowing a short 5 minute window for infants to try to put themselves to sleep or cry. "Cry it out" method includes increased periods of time where the infants are left alone to cry themselves asleep, thus eventually learning that they Can fall asleep without mom. The crying will subsequently decrease during each nap until they go down peacefully.
Remember, your child knows that they are safe and they know that you have not abandoned them. You are making the important parenting decision to teach you child a new life long skill. Sometimes parenting decisions are difficult although they are very important. You can do this. It is in the best interest of your entire family. Just be consistent and give yourself breaks. You can expect to see progress after at least 1 week of consistency. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
How do I begin sleep/crib training with my baby?
Hello parents and readers,
The following blog addresses the question of
How do I begin sleep training or crib training?
I have provided my readers with a glimpse of what a sleep training routine may look like. For this particular family, they came to me in a state of crisis. Mom was breastfeeding and working full time with hardly any sleep at night. Their 5 month old did not know how to stay asleep so she constantly cried out every 1-2 hours throughout the night for mom to rock her back to sleep. The parents had not shared a bed in over 3 months. They wanted a big change.
Sarah has Difficulty staying asleep between 7pm-10pm:
This will be the first phase of crib training. She needs to learn that once she is asleep in her crib and fed, she needs to put herself back to sleep.
If she wakes up…
1st time: one of you may go into her room, pat her belly, say “time to sleep Sarah” “shhhhh” after 5 min. Walk out of the room and let her cry up to 10min. If she does not fall asleep….
2nd time: do not speak to her. Pat her belly say “shhhhh” after 5 min. walk out of the room. Let her cry up to 15 minutes. If she does not fall asleep….
3rd time: do not speak to her. Pat her belly no longer than 5 min. “shhhhh” walk out of the room. Let her cry herself to sleep. (maybe between 20-45 min)
This is hard for all parents. Your family is in crisis mode and Sarah needs to know that she can fall back to sleep on her own as soon as possible. She will only learn this through time and practice. The main goal with infants is to develop trust within the first few months so that their brains understand that you will meet their needs and they are safe. She cries when she wakes up because she does not know how to put herself back to sleep. She has only been rocked, nursed, and coddled back to sleep since birth. Now she knows she is safe and she knows you will come to her. But now she is in control. Your goal as parents is to get back the power. Set boundaries for her. Support her through kind words and soft touches as she learns to put herself to sleep, by first crying herself to sleep. She will be ok. It is harder for parents to hear their infant cry than it is for her to cry. Just remember…She knows she is safe. She knows you both love her. This is teaching her a valuable tool, self soothing. This is important for your family. You need your bed back for the marriage. You need to have family time for Luke before bed. Give this routine 1-2 weeks with consistency and I promise you will be happy with the results. Babies need a routine and they need to be taught how to sooth themselves to sleep. You can do this.
Good luck:)
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
The following blog addresses the question of
How do I begin sleep training or crib training?
I have provided my readers with a glimpse of what a sleep training routine may look like. For this particular family, they came to me in a state of crisis. Mom was breastfeeding and working full time with hardly any sleep at night. Their 5 month old did not know how to stay asleep so she constantly cried out every 1-2 hours throughout the night for mom to rock her back to sleep. The parents had not shared a bed in over 3 months. They wanted a big change.
Sarah has Difficulty staying asleep between 7pm-10pm:
This will be the first phase of crib training. She needs to learn that once she is asleep in her crib and fed, she needs to put herself back to sleep.
If she wakes up…
1st time: one of you may go into her room, pat her belly, say “time to sleep Sarah” “shhhhh” after 5 min. Walk out of the room and let her cry up to 10min. If she does not fall asleep….
2nd time: do not speak to her. Pat her belly say “shhhhh” after 5 min. walk out of the room. Let her cry up to 15 minutes. If she does not fall asleep….
3rd time: do not speak to her. Pat her belly no longer than 5 min. “shhhhh” walk out of the room. Let her cry herself to sleep. (maybe between 20-45 min)
This is hard for all parents. Your family is in crisis mode and Sarah needs to know that she can fall back to sleep on her own as soon as possible. She will only learn this through time and practice. The main goal with infants is to develop trust within the first few months so that their brains understand that you will meet their needs and they are safe. She cries when she wakes up because she does not know how to put herself back to sleep. She has only been rocked, nursed, and coddled back to sleep since birth. Now she knows she is safe and she knows you will come to her. But now she is in control. Your goal as parents is to get back the power. Set boundaries for her. Support her through kind words and soft touches as she learns to put herself to sleep, by first crying herself to sleep. She will be ok. It is harder for parents to hear their infant cry than it is for her to cry. Just remember…She knows she is safe. She knows you both love her. This is teaching her a valuable tool, self soothing. This is important for your family. You need your bed back for the marriage. You need to have family time for Luke before bed. Give this routine 1-2 weeks with consistency and I promise you will be happy with the results. Babies need a routine and they need to be taught how to sooth themselves to sleep. You can do this.
Good luck:)
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
What is colic? Does my baby have it? What do I do?
Hello parents and readers,
The following is a one hour long audio radio interview I did on colic and how to treat colic. I was interviewed for a parenting website... www.parentinghq.com
http://www.knowledge-spot.com/phq/michellechrastil.mp3
Remember to stay calm while you try to soothe your upset baby. Infants react to their parents stress levels. They feel most calm when there caregiver can model being calm in a stressful situation.
Parents feel free to tell us about your experience dealing with a colicy baby.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
The following is a one hour long audio radio interview I did on colic and how to treat colic. I was interviewed for a parenting website... www.parentinghq.com
http://www.knowledge-spot.com/phq/michellechrastil.mp3
Remember to stay calm while you try to soothe your upset baby. Infants react to their parents stress levels. They feel most calm when there caregiver can model being calm in a stressful situation.
Parents feel free to tell us about your experience dealing with a colicy baby.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
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