Hello readers and parents,
Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.
10 Steps to hire a nanny...
Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.
Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.
In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.
Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.
Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.
Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?
Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.
Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?
Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.
Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.
Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.
Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Help! My breastfed baby wakes me up every few hours all night long.
Dear readers and parents,
A common concern breastfeeding mothers report is that although their child is at the age to be physically able to sleep through the night (around 3-4 months)they keep mommy up by waking up 3-4 times a night to nurse. What is going on?
When babies are first born they need to eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day and night in order to get enough calories. At birth, most infants stomachs are only the size of a quarter. This means they need less milk to fill them up but they burn through the milk quickly thus needing to eat more often. When your baby reaches the age of 3 or 4 months they have probably developed some sort of routine and are understanding the difference between nighttime and daytime sleeping. They can also go for longer stretches without eating. At this age the goal is to fill up their day time tummies so their longest stretch will be in the middle of the night.
Sometimes a breastfed baby begins to sleep longer stretches around 3 months which is very exciting for parents. However, at some point around 4-6 months they begin to wake up more often (every 2 hours) and stop sleeping long stretches in the middle of the night. Today's question is Why?
What may be happening...
As a breastfeeding infant, your baby's primary goal is to begin developing a secure relationship with their caregiver which means they learn to trust that you as their parent will meet their needs when they need something. To an infant they are just beginning to understand this world and how to survive. So the goal for parents is to be attentive and loving to their infants during the first 3 months of life so their baby learns that they are safe. After the first 3 months your baby has probably learned that they are safe and well taken care of but now they are beginning to have preferences and are learning how to get what they "want" not necessarily what they "need". As parents your job now is to try to meet your babies needs by giving them what they want but also begin introducing boundaries and teaching them self soothing skills. Now it is time to make parenting decisions. Your breastfed infant has now learned that they love breastfeeding and they love their mommy. What is probably going on in the middle of the night is that they "want" you. They "want" to snuggle, they "want" to pacify on the breast, they may wake up and "want" you to put them back to sleep. Often they are not waking up to eat.
Now that you know what may be going on for your baby, now what do you do about it? Before we begin any changes in the nighttime feeding arrangement, we must first look at your babies routine during the day. Babies need structure and routine. It helps them understand what is coming next and what is expected of them.
Step #1: Routine
Review or establish a routine for your baby. Your routine can be flexible but should have some structure. Begin by purchasing a notebook and start recording what time your infant wakes up in the morning, times they eat, and designated bedtime. If you do not have a routine start by writing out your ideal routine that would work with your family's schedule.
Things to look for when reviewing your baby's routine...
1. How often do they eat? How long at each feeding? How long of stretch imbetween feedings.
2. When are your babies naps during the day? How long? How does your baby fall asleep? Where are her naps? Is their a routine at bedtime so she knows it is time to sleep?
It is common if you are reading this that you realize that your baby does not have a routine. That is okay, however it is time to establish one and begin following it daily. A baby's daytime routine is directly related to sleeping through the night. Creating a routine for your breastfed baby is the first step to increase stretches of sleep at night.
Step #2 Baby Checklist
Now that you have a set routine (check former blog post for more info), lets look for possible night waking causes.
Ask yourself...
Questions:
1. Is my child eating enough during the day?
2. Is my child getting at least 2-4 hours (2-3 naps daily) of sleep during the day?
3. Is my child sleeping more than 4 hours during the day?
4. Does my child no how to fall asleep without the breast?
These questions will point you to the possible solution...
Answers:
1.If your baby eats every 2 hours throughout the day, this is not a long enough stretch for your baby's body to adjust to going longer stretches at night. At five months, your baby should be able to go at least 3 hours between each feeding. The way to correct this is to start at the beginning of the day and only offer the breast after 3 hours. During the first stretch your baby will more than likely get hungry at their normal 2 hours but you need to distract them and hold them off to 3 hours. This will retrain them to eat more at each feeding thus increasing the amount of food they eat throughout the day.
2. If your baby is not getting at least 2 hours of sleep during the day, then your child is overtired and is having difficulty staying asleep. The solution is to develop a daily sleep routine and help your child get longer naps. Naps should be in the crib (or your families designated sleep area). It should be dark and calm in the room with a form of white noise to drown out daytime noises and to help keep baby sleeping. Pick a designated time for bedtime and try to stick with it. Again focus on developing routine. Create bedtime routine that may consist of a bath and books or just pj's and sometime in the rocking chair.
3. If your child is sleep more than 4 hours during the day, I would suggest keeping it to a 4 hour maximum. The best way to do this is to have a set routine with two 2 hour long naps which are at the same time everyday. Wake your baby up buy turning on the lights and turning off the white noise at about 2 hours.
4. More than likely your baby does not know how to go to sleep without the breast so they wake up often and need you to soothe them or they are waking up because they miss you and just "want" you to put them back to sleep. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to start crib training. Another helpful thing is to have dad go in the room and put her back to sleep with a bottle if it is time to eat. This will show your baby that it is not always mom and this usually encourages them to stay asleep.
Step #3 Make Changes
Now that you have an idea of what may be causing the night wakings, try one of my suggested solutions. If you need additional support or if you think it may be time for crib training, you can contact myself or your local postpartum doula for support.
Postpartum Doulas
www.honestfamilyservices.com
www.cappa.net
www.coloradodoulaassoication.com
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservics.com
A common concern breastfeeding mothers report is that although their child is at the age to be physically able to sleep through the night (around 3-4 months)they keep mommy up by waking up 3-4 times a night to nurse. What is going on?
When babies are first born they need to eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day and night in order to get enough calories. At birth, most infants stomachs are only the size of a quarter. This means they need less milk to fill them up but they burn through the milk quickly thus needing to eat more often. When your baby reaches the age of 3 or 4 months they have probably developed some sort of routine and are understanding the difference between nighttime and daytime sleeping. They can also go for longer stretches without eating. At this age the goal is to fill up their day time tummies so their longest stretch will be in the middle of the night.
Sometimes a breastfed baby begins to sleep longer stretches around 3 months which is very exciting for parents. However, at some point around 4-6 months they begin to wake up more often (every 2 hours) and stop sleeping long stretches in the middle of the night. Today's question is Why?
What may be happening...
As a breastfeeding infant, your baby's primary goal is to begin developing a secure relationship with their caregiver which means they learn to trust that you as their parent will meet their needs when they need something. To an infant they are just beginning to understand this world and how to survive. So the goal for parents is to be attentive and loving to their infants during the first 3 months of life so their baby learns that they are safe. After the first 3 months your baby has probably learned that they are safe and well taken care of but now they are beginning to have preferences and are learning how to get what they "want" not necessarily what they "need". As parents your job now is to try to meet your babies needs by giving them what they want but also begin introducing boundaries and teaching them self soothing skills. Now it is time to make parenting decisions. Your breastfed infant has now learned that they love breastfeeding and they love their mommy. What is probably going on in the middle of the night is that they "want" you. They "want" to snuggle, they "want" to pacify on the breast, they may wake up and "want" you to put them back to sleep. Often they are not waking up to eat.
Now that you know what may be going on for your baby, now what do you do about it? Before we begin any changes in the nighttime feeding arrangement, we must first look at your babies routine during the day. Babies need structure and routine. It helps them understand what is coming next and what is expected of them.
Step #1: Routine
Review or establish a routine for your baby. Your routine can be flexible but should have some structure. Begin by purchasing a notebook and start recording what time your infant wakes up in the morning, times they eat, and designated bedtime. If you do not have a routine start by writing out your ideal routine that would work with your family's schedule.
Things to look for when reviewing your baby's routine...
1. How often do they eat? How long at each feeding? How long of stretch imbetween feedings.
2. When are your babies naps during the day? How long? How does your baby fall asleep? Where are her naps? Is their a routine at bedtime so she knows it is time to sleep?
It is common if you are reading this that you realize that your baby does not have a routine. That is okay, however it is time to establish one and begin following it daily. A baby's daytime routine is directly related to sleeping through the night. Creating a routine for your breastfed baby is the first step to increase stretches of sleep at night.
Step #2 Baby Checklist
Now that you have a set routine (check former blog post for more info), lets look for possible night waking causes.
Ask yourself...
Questions:
1. Is my child eating enough during the day?
2. Is my child getting at least 2-4 hours (2-3 naps daily) of sleep during the day?
3. Is my child sleeping more than 4 hours during the day?
4. Does my child no how to fall asleep without the breast?
These questions will point you to the possible solution...
Answers:
1.If your baby eats every 2 hours throughout the day, this is not a long enough stretch for your baby's body to adjust to going longer stretches at night. At five months, your baby should be able to go at least 3 hours between each feeding. The way to correct this is to start at the beginning of the day and only offer the breast after 3 hours. During the first stretch your baby will more than likely get hungry at their normal 2 hours but you need to distract them and hold them off to 3 hours. This will retrain them to eat more at each feeding thus increasing the amount of food they eat throughout the day.
2. If your baby is not getting at least 2 hours of sleep during the day, then your child is overtired and is having difficulty staying asleep. The solution is to develop a daily sleep routine and help your child get longer naps. Naps should be in the crib (or your families designated sleep area). It should be dark and calm in the room with a form of white noise to drown out daytime noises and to help keep baby sleeping. Pick a designated time for bedtime and try to stick with it. Again focus on developing routine. Create bedtime routine that may consist of a bath and books or just pj's and sometime in the rocking chair.
3. If your child is sleep more than 4 hours during the day, I would suggest keeping it to a 4 hour maximum. The best way to do this is to have a set routine with two 2 hour long naps which are at the same time everyday. Wake your baby up buy turning on the lights and turning off the white noise at about 2 hours.
4. More than likely your baby does not know how to go to sleep without the breast so they wake up often and need you to soothe them or they are waking up because they miss you and just "want" you to put them back to sleep. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to start crib training. Another helpful thing is to have dad go in the room and put her back to sleep with a bottle if it is time to eat. This will show your baby that it is not always mom and this usually encourages them to stay asleep.
Step #3 Make Changes
Now that you have an idea of what may be causing the night wakings, try one of my suggested solutions. If you need additional support or if you think it may be time for crib training, you can contact myself or your local postpartum doula for support.
Postpartum Doulas
www.honestfamilyservices.com
www.cappa.net
www.coloradodoulaassoication.com
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservics.com
Monday, January 25, 2010
3 Simple Steps to prevent Postpartum Depression
Dear parents and readers,
Over the years of working with parents, I have found that a postpartum doula can have a significant effect on preventing postpartum depression through their maternal care. I have developed 3 Simple Steps that help decrease the risk for postpartum depression as well as treat the symptoms.
What is Postpartum Depression? According to Wikipedia, "Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a form of clinical depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, after childbirth."
There are three different levels of postpartum depression. I will briefly give you information on all three levels.
1. Baby Blues occurs in 80% of postpartum women. Mothers describe symptoms as feeling tearful, irritable, and experience feeling a sense of sleeplessness, impairment of concentration, feelings of isolation and headache.
Baby blues are not the same thing as postpartum depression, nor are they a precursor to postpartum depression or postnatal psychosis.
2. Postpartum Depression occurs in 5-9% of postpartum women. The symptoms are more severe then in baby blues and it lasts longer than a few days. Symptoms may include sadness, fatigue, insomnia, appetite changes, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. Current data suggests that although 5 to 9 percent of women will develop postpartum depression, less than one in five of these women will seek professional help.
3. Postpartum psychosis is a severe mental illness, which involves a complete break with reality. Although sometimes confused with postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis is a very different disorder. Postpartum psychosis consists of an onset of psychotic symptoms that may include thought disturbances, delusions, hallucinations and/or disorganized speech or behavior.
Contact your doctor or go to the emergency room if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.
Postpartum psychosis can lead to suicidal thoughts for new mothers and can also lead to thoughts of wanting to harm ones baby. It is important for dad's, partner's, and family members to be aware of these symptoms because women with psychosis need to be treated immediately. Check out www.psi.com for support.
Now that you are all worried... Let's talk about some simple ways to decrease your chances for developing a postpartum disorder.
Steps for parents:
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Nutrition has been found to have a significant effect on the emotional well being of a new mother. Postpartum mothers are so focused on meeting the needs of their new infant that is extremely common that they neglect their own basic needs. They don't eat well.
Solution:
1. Anyone other than the new mom should be responsible for meal times. It should be either Dads or Partners job is to make sure she has food made and to give her time to eat her meals.
2. When friends or family call and ask, "Can I come over and see the baby? Do you need anything?" Always ask them to bring a meal. Whether they bring Chioplte or homemade casserole, food is the passage into the home. Stock up the freezer and hopefully the couple will not have to worry about cooking for at least the first few weeks.
3. Feed mom foods that heal the soul. Comfort foods are helpful for postpartum women, also foods that are rich with vitamins, vegetables, and warmth.
4. Increasing the amount of omega 3 fatty acids and B vitamins such as Riboflavin in a mothers diet can also decrease risk for postpartum depression.
A Good natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids include edible linseed oil, certain fish, grass fed rather than grain fed meat, and eggs from chickens fed on flax seed or other feed high in omega 3 fats. Omega 3 fatty acids can also be purchased in capsule form as a dietary supplement.
5. Take the baby for a few minutes and let mom eat in peace. Mom's are so focused on their new infant they will often not take breaks. Encourage her to take a 10-15 minute break each time she eats a meal when their are hands to help.
Step #2 Put Mommy to Bed
1. Sleep is so important for new moms yet it is hard to come by. Help her by taking the baby at least once a day so she can nap. Encourage her to nap while the baby sleeps.
2. Have someone around to help. Being a new mom can be isolating if dad is at work and family is not around. Have family or friends come by to let mom nap for at least 1 hour a day if possible.
3. If you do not have extended family as a support (or prefer space from family during this time) hire a postpartum doula or a nanny. A doula charges by the hour and is temporary support for postpartum women. A doula can help with giving mom breaks, preparing meals for mom, help with housework, or can provide a full nights sleep during an overnight shift. Doula's are also great for emotional support and can be great educational resources for new moms with lots of questions.
4. It will be easier for mom to take naps if she has someone helping with the housework. Otherwise, naps are her only time to catch up. Let her focus on healing, eating, sleeping, and caring for her new baby for at least the first 4 weeks.
Step #3: Listen to the Mommy
1. New moms typically are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and doubtful that they are caring for their baby right. It is helpful to let mom's vent about their frustrations. Let them cry when they feel emotional. Validate them when they feel like "I can't do this" or "I am a bad mother".
2. I have worked with many new families over the years and I have never worked for a new mom that did not break down and cry to me at least once. This is normal. Postpartum women are emotional and hormonal. They need to hear that they are doing a good job and their struggles are normal.
3. Dad's and partner's need to be supportive. Make sure you step in and help where ever you can. It is just as important that you learn how to be a parent by spending time with your infant and learning how to care for them. Remind the new mommy that it is your child to and you want to learn how to care for them. This will encourage her to take breaks.
4. Find outside support for mom. Depending on the situation, finding either a support group for new moms, online chat, or scheduling play dates with friends, can all be a great way to support mom. Online or phone counseling is also available to postpartum moms. You can go to my website at www.honestfamilyservices.com or check out www.psi.com.
There we have it. These are the 3 steps I recommend for preventing or decreasing symptoms of postpartum depression.
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Step #2 Put the Mommy to Bed
Step #3 Listen to the Mommy
To find a local postpartum doula in your area...try www.cappa.net.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Over the years of working with parents, I have found that a postpartum doula can have a significant effect on preventing postpartum depression through their maternal care. I have developed 3 Simple Steps that help decrease the risk for postpartum depression as well as treat the symptoms.
What is Postpartum Depression? According to Wikipedia, "Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a form of clinical depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, after childbirth."
There are three different levels of postpartum depression. I will briefly give you information on all three levels.
1. Baby Blues occurs in 80% of postpartum women. Mothers describe symptoms as feeling tearful, irritable, and experience feeling a sense of sleeplessness, impairment of concentration, feelings of isolation and headache.
Baby blues are not the same thing as postpartum depression, nor are they a precursor to postpartum depression or postnatal psychosis.
2. Postpartum Depression occurs in 5-9% of postpartum women. The symptoms are more severe then in baby blues and it lasts longer than a few days. Symptoms may include sadness, fatigue, insomnia, appetite changes, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. Current data suggests that although 5 to 9 percent of women will develop postpartum depression, less than one in five of these women will seek professional help.
3. Postpartum psychosis is a severe mental illness, which involves a complete break with reality. Although sometimes confused with postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis is a very different disorder. Postpartum psychosis consists of an onset of psychotic symptoms that may include thought disturbances, delusions, hallucinations and/or disorganized speech or behavior.
Contact your doctor or go to the emergency room if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.
Postpartum psychosis can lead to suicidal thoughts for new mothers and can also lead to thoughts of wanting to harm ones baby. It is important for dad's, partner's, and family members to be aware of these symptoms because women with psychosis need to be treated immediately. Check out www.psi.com for support.
Now that you are all worried... Let's talk about some simple ways to decrease your chances for developing a postpartum disorder.
Steps for parents:
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Nutrition has been found to have a significant effect on the emotional well being of a new mother. Postpartum mothers are so focused on meeting the needs of their new infant that is extremely common that they neglect their own basic needs. They don't eat well.
Solution:
1. Anyone other than the new mom should be responsible for meal times. It should be either Dads or Partners job is to make sure she has food made and to give her time to eat her meals.
2. When friends or family call and ask, "Can I come over and see the baby? Do you need anything?" Always ask them to bring a meal. Whether they bring Chioplte or homemade casserole, food is the passage into the home. Stock up the freezer and hopefully the couple will not have to worry about cooking for at least the first few weeks.
3. Feed mom foods that heal the soul. Comfort foods are helpful for postpartum women, also foods that are rich with vitamins, vegetables, and warmth.
4. Increasing the amount of omega 3 fatty acids and B vitamins such as Riboflavin in a mothers diet can also decrease risk for postpartum depression.
A Good natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids include edible linseed oil, certain fish, grass fed rather than grain fed meat, and eggs from chickens fed on flax seed or other feed high in omega 3 fats. Omega 3 fatty acids can also be purchased in capsule form as a dietary supplement.
5. Take the baby for a few minutes and let mom eat in peace. Mom's are so focused on their new infant they will often not take breaks. Encourage her to take a 10-15 minute break each time she eats a meal when their are hands to help.
Step #2 Put Mommy to Bed
1. Sleep is so important for new moms yet it is hard to come by. Help her by taking the baby at least once a day so she can nap. Encourage her to nap while the baby sleeps.
2. Have someone around to help. Being a new mom can be isolating if dad is at work and family is not around. Have family or friends come by to let mom nap for at least 1 hour a day if possible.
3. If you do not have extended family as a support (or prefer space from family during this time) hire a postpartum doula or a nanny. A doula charges by the hour and is temporary support for postpartum women. A doula can help with giving mom breaks, preparing meals for mom, help with housework, or can provide a full nights sleep during an overnight shift. Doula's are also great for emotional support and can be great educational resources for new moms with lots of questions.
4. It will be easier for mom to take naps if she has someone helping with the housework. Otherwise, naps are her only time to catch up. Let her focus on healing, eating, sleeping, and caring for her new baby for at least the first 4 weeks.
Step #3: Listen to the Mommy
1. New moms typically are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and doubtful that they are caring for their baby right. It is helpful to let mom's vent about their frustrations. Let them cry when they feel emotional. Validate them when they feel like "I can't do this" or "I am a bad mother".
2. I have worked with many new families over the years and I have never worked for a new mom that did not break down and cry to me at least once. This is normal. Postpartum women are emotional and hormonal. They need to hear that they are doing a good job and their struggles are normal.
3. Dad's and partner's need to be supportive. Make sure you step in and help where ever you can. It is just as important that you learn how to be a parent by spending time with your infant and learning how to care for them. Remind the new mommy that it is your child to and you want to learn how to care for them. This will encourage her to take breaks.
4. Find outside support for mom. Depending on the situation, finding either a support group for new moms, online chat, or scheduling play dates with friends, can all be a great way to support mom. Online or phone counseling is also available to postpartum moms. You can go to my website at www.honestfamilyservices.com or check out www.psi.com.
There we have it. These are the 3 steps I recommend for preventing or decreasing symptoms of postpartum depression.
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Step #2 Put the Mommy to Bed
Step #3 Listen to the Mommy
To find a local postpartum doula in your area...try www.cappa.net.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
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