Hello parents and readers,
Recently a parent requested that I write a post which addresses the importance of building self esteem in our children and requested tips on how to encourage good self esteem in our children. In today's society, our children's' self esteem is under daily attack. With the media's portrayal of unattainable beauty and body size, we have to arm our children with the tools necessary to stand strong so that they can learn to love themselves and to appreciate their individual uniqueness. I have provided my readers with 5 steps to strengthen our child's self esteem. For more information go to www.honestfamilyservices.com.
5 Steps for Parents To Build Self Esteem in Their Children
Step #1 Be Generous with Praise.
All children need love and appreciation and thrive on positive attention.
Parents can do this by using "words" of encouragement. Use the following statements daily with your children...
1. "That's right"
2. "That is wonderful"
3. "Good Job"
4. "I like the way you..."
5. "You are improving at..."
Most Importantly
6. "I am proud of you"
Words and actions have great impact on the confidence of our children, including adolescents, remember these positive statements parents and caregivers say to them to your children DAILY.
Step #2 Give Positive Touch
All Children and adolescents thrive on positive physical responses such as...
1. Parents can smile often
2. Give a nod of approval
3. Wink at your child
4. Give a hug to show attention
5. Give kisses and tell them you love them
Step# 3 Avoid Criticism
Blame and negative judgments are at the core of poor self-esteem and can lead to emotional disorders. Avoid statements such as...
1. ANY Statements related to weight or body image. "You need to lose weight", "You need to burn calories" "You don't want to be fat do you" "You are looking too thin" "Lets go work out so you can lose a few pounds" or talking to friends or neighbors about "my child needs to lose weight".
This is a very important and prevalent issue. It is often between mothers and daughters and sometimes critical fathers towards their daughters weight. These statements can be VERY damaging. As parents, it is our job to foster good self esteem no matter what our child's body type.
Use positive statements and if needed modify food intake and increase exercise in a way that is focused on positive results. "Lets go work out so we can "stay" healthy and strong" "Lets eat some more veggies so you can grow big and strong like Mommy and Daddy" "You are already beautiful but if you want to choose an active activity to become more healthy, I will help you."
It is all in the way we say it to our children. Be positive. Never criticize body weight. Work on our own self esteems and practice saying these positive comments to our selves.
1. "I love my body"
2. "I am healthy and strong"
3. "I love my womanly curves"
4. "If I can't love myself the way I am, who will".
Step #4 Teach children about decision making.
Teach children about making "choices" and to recognize when they have made good decisions. Let them "own" their problems. If they solve them, they gain confidence in themselves. If you solve them, they'll remain dependent on you.
1. Encourage your children to make their own "choices", but remind them that there is a "consequence" to each choice. Hopefully, these natural consequences will guide them to make more smart choices in their future.
Step #5 Show children that you can laugh at yourself.
Show them that life doesn't need to be serious all the time and that some teasing is all in fun. Your sense of humor is important for their well-being.
Parents can play important roles in helping their children feel better about themselves and developing greater confidence. Doing this is important because children with good self-esteem:
Act independently
Assume responsibility
Take pride in their accomplishments
Tolerate frustration
Handle peer pressure appropriately
Attempt new tasks and challenges
Handle positive and negative emotions
Offer assistance to others
Remember, you are already taking the first step to improving your child's self esteem by educating your self.
Remember these 5 simple steps.
1. Increase Praise
2. Give Positive Touch
3. Avoid Criticism
4. Teach Decision Making Skills
5. Be able to Laugh at your self.
You have the opportunity to make a dramatic difference in your child's self concept. Let us teach and encourage our children in a positive way each day.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Showing posts with label doula. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doula. Show all posts
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
10 Steps On How To Hire a Nanny
Hello readers and parents,
Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.
10 Steps to hire a nanny...
Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.
Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.
In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.
Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.
Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.
Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?
Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.
Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?
Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.
Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.
Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.
Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.
10 Steps to hire a nanny...
Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.
Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.
In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.
Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.
Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.
Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?
Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.
Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?
Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.
Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.
Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.
Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Monday, January 25, 2010
3 Simple Steps to prevent Postpartum Depression
Dear parents and readers,
Over the years of working with parents, I have found that a postpartum doula can have a significant effect on preventing postpartum depression through their maternal care. I have developed 3 Simple Steps that help decrease the risk for postpartum depression as well as treat the symptoms.
What is Postpartum Depression? According to Wikipedia, "Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a form of clinical depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, after childbirth."
There are three different levels of postpartum depression. I will briefly give you information on all three levels.
1. Baby Blues occurs in 80% of postpartum women. Mothers describe symptoms as feeling tearful, irritable, and experience feeling a sense of sleeplessness, impairment of concentration, feelings of isolation and headache.
Baby blues are not the same thing as postpartum depression, nor are they a precursor to postpartum depression or postnatal psychosis.
2. Postpartum Depression occurs in 5-9% of postpartum women. The symptoms are more severe then in baby blues and it lasts longer than a few days. Symptoms may include sadness, fatigue, insomnia, appetite changes, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. Current data suggests that although 5 to 9 percent of women will develop postpartum depression, less than one in five of these women will seek professional help.
3. Postpartum psychosis is a severe mental illness, which involves a complete break with reality. Although sometimes confused with postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis is a very different disorder. Postpartum psychosis consists of an onset of psychotic symptoms that may include thought disturbances, delusions, hallucinations and/or disorganized speech or behavior.
Contact your doctor or go to the emergency room if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.
Postpartum psychosis can lead to suicidal thoughts for new mothers and can also lead to thoughts of wanting to harm ones baby. It is important for dad's, partner's, and family members to be aware of these symptoms because women with psychosis need to be treated immediately. Check out www.psi.com for support.
Now that you are all worried... Let's talk about some simple ways to decrease your chances for developing a postpartum disorder.
Steps for parents:
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Nutrition has been found to have a significant effect on the emotional well being of a new mother. Postpartum mothers are so focused on meeting the needs of their new infant that is extremely common that they neglect their own basic needs. They don't eat well.
Solution:
1. Anyone other than the new mom should be responsible for meal times. It should be either Dads or Partners job is to make sure she has food made and to give her time to eat her meals.
2. When friends or family call and ask, "Can I come over and see the baby? Do you need anything?" Always ask them to bring a meal. Whether they bring Chioplte or homemade casserole, food is the passage into the home. Stock up the freezer and hopefully the couple will not have to worry about cooking for at least the first few weeks.
3. Feed mom foods that heal the soul. Comfort foods are helpful for postpartum women, also foods that are rich with vitamins, vegetables, and warmth.
4. Increasing the amount of omega 3 fatty acids and B vitamins such as Riboflavin in a mothers diet can also decrease risk for postpartum depression.
A Good natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids include edible linseed oil, certain fish, grass fed rather than grain fed meat, and eggs from chickens fed on flax seed or other feed high in omega 3 fats. Omega 3 fatty acids can also be purchased in capsule form as a dietary supplement.
5. Take the baby for a few minutes and let mom eat in peace. Mom's are so focused on their new infant they will often not take breaks. Encourage her to take a 10-15 minute break each time she eats a meal when their are hands to help.
Step #2 Put Mommy to Bed
1. Sleep is so important for new moms yet it is hard to come by. Help her by taking the baby at least once a day so she can nap. Encourage her to nap while the baby sleeps.
2. Have someone around to help. Being a new mom can be isolating if dad is at work and family is not around. Have family or friends come by to let mom nap for at least 1 hour a day if possible.
3. If you do not have extended family as a support (or prefer space from family during this time) hire a postpartum doula or a nanny. A doula charges by the hour and is temporary support for postpartum women. A doula can help with giving mom breaks, preparing meals for mom, help with housework, or can provide a full nights sleep during an overnight shift. Doula's are also great for emotional support and can be great educational resources for new moms with lots of questions.
4. It will be easier for mom to take naps if she has someone helping with the housework. Otherwise, naps are her only time to catch up. Let her focus on healing, eating, sleeping, and caring for her new baby for at least the first 4 weeks.
Step #3: Listen to the Mommy
1. New moms typically are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and doubtful that they are caring for their baby right. It is helpful to let mom's vent about their frustrations. Let them cry when they feel emotional. Validate them when they feel like "I can't do this" or "I am a bad mother".
2. I have worked with many new families over the years and I have never worked for a new mom that did not break down and cry to me at least once. This is normal. Postpartum women are emotional and hormonal. They need to hear that they are doing a good job and their struggles are normal.
3. Dad's and partner's need to be supportive. Make sure you step in and help where ever you can. It is just as important that you learn how to be a parent by spending time with your infant and learning how to care for them. Remind the new mommy that it is your child to and you want to learn how to care for them. This will encourage her to take breaks.
4. Find outside support for mom. Depending on the situation, finding either a support group for new moms, online chat, or scheduling play dates with friends, can all be a great way to support mom. Online or phone counseling is also available to postpartum moms. You can go to my website at www.honestfamilyservices.com or check out www.psi.com.
There we have it. These are the 3 steps I recommend for preventing or decreasing symptoms of postpartum depression.
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Step #2 Put the Mommy to Bed
Step #3 Listen to the Mommy
To find a local postpartum doula in your area...try www.cappa.net.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Over the years of working with parents, I have found that a postpartum doula can have a significant effect on preventing postpartum depression through their maternal care. I have developed 3 Simple Steps that help decrease the risk for postpartum depression as well as treat the symptoms.
What is Postpartum Depression? According to Wikipedia, "Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a form of clinical depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, after childbirth."
There are three different levels of postpartum depression. I will briefly give you information on all three levels.
1. Baby Blues occurs in 80% of postpartum women. Mothers describe symptoms as feeling tearful, irritable, and experience feeling a sense of sleeplessness, impairment of concentration, feelings of isolation and headache.
Baby blues are not the same thing as postpartum depression, nor are they a precursor to postpartum depression or postnatal psychosis.
2. Postpartum Depression occurs in 5-9% of postpartum women. The symptoms are more severe then in baby blues and it lasts longer than a few days. Symptoms may include sadness, fatigue, insomnia, appetite changes, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. Current data suggests that although 5 to 9 percent of women will develop postpartum depression, less than one in five of these women will seek professional help.
3. Postpartum psychosis is a severe mental illness, which involves a complete break with reality. Although sometimes confused with postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis is a very different disorder. Postpartum psychosis consists of an onset of psychotic symptoms that may include thought disturbances, delusions, hallucinations and/or disorganized speech or behavior.
Contact your doctor or go to the emergency room if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.
Postpartum psychosis can lead to suicidal thoughts for new mothers and can also lead to thoughts of wanting to harm ones baby. It is important for dad's, partner's, and family members to be aware of these symptoms because women with psychosis need to be treated immediately. Check out www.psi.com for support.
Now that you are all worried... Let's talk about some simple ways to decrease your chances for developing a postpartum disorder.
Steps for parents:
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Nutrition has been found to have a significant effect on the emotional well being of a new mother. Postpartum mothers are so focused on meeting the needs of their new infant that is extremely common that they neglect their own basic needs. They don't eat well.
Solution:
1. Anyone other than the new mom should be responsible for meal times. It should be either Dads or Partners job is to make sure she has food made and to give her time to eat her meals.
2. When friends or family call and ask, "Can I come over and see the baby? Do you need anything?" Always ask them to bring a meal. Whether they bring Chioplte or homemade casserole, food is the passage into the home. Stock up the freezer and hopefully the couple will not have to worry about cooking for at least the first few weeks.
3. Feed mom foods that heal the soul. Comfort foods are helpful for postpartum women, also foods that are rich with vitamins, vegetables, and warmth.
4. Increasing the amount of omega 3 fatty acids and B vitamins such as Riboflavin in a mothers diet can also decrease risk for postpartum depression.
A Good natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids include edible linseed oil, certain fish, grass fed rather than grain fed meat, and eggs from chickens fed on flax seed or other feed high in omega 3 fats. Omega 3 fatty acids can also be purchased in capsule form as a dietary supplement.
5. Take the baby for a few minutes and let mom eat in peace. Mom's are so focused on their new infant they will often not take breaks. Encourage her to take a 10-15 minute break each time she eats a meal when their are hands to help.
Step #2 Put Mommy to Bed
1. Sleep is so important for new moms yet it is hard to come by. Help her by taking the baby at least once a day so she can nap. Encourage her to nap while the baby sleeps.
2. Have someone around to help. Being a new mom can be isolating if dad is at work and family is not around. Have family or friends come by to let mom nap for at least 1 hour a day if possible.
3. If you do not have extended family as a support (or prefer space from family during this time) hire a postpartum doula or a nanny. A doula charges by the hour and is temporary support for postpartum women. A doula can help with giving mom breaks, preparing meals for mom, help with housework, or can provide a full nights sleep during an overnight shift. Doula's are also great for emotional support and can be great educational resources for new moms with lots of questions.
4. It will be easier for mom to take naps if she has someone helping with the housework. Otherwise, naps are her only time to catch up. Let her focus on healing, eating, sleeping, and caring for her new baby for at least the first 4 weeks.
Step #3: Listen to the Mommy
1. New moms typically are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and doubtful that they are caring for their baby right. It is helpful to let mom's vent about their frustrations. Let them cry when they feel emotional. Validate them when they feel like "I can't do this" or "I am a bad mother".
2. I have worked with many new families over the years and I have never worked for a new mom that did not break down and cry to me at least once. This is normal. Postpartum women are emotional and hormonal. They need to hear that they are doing a good job and their struggles are normal.
3. Dad's and partner's need to be supportive. Make sure you step in and help where ever you can. It is just as important that you learn how to be a parent by spending time with your infant and learning how to care for them. Remind the new mommy that it is your child to and you want to learn how to care for them. This will encourage her to take breaks.
4. Find outside support for mom. Depending on the situation, finding either a support group for new moms, online chat, or scheduling play dates with friends, can all be a great way to support mom. Online or phone counseling is also available to postpartum moms. You can go to my website at www.honestfamilyservices.com or check out www.psi.com.
There we have it. These are the 3 steps I recommend for preventing or decreasing symptoms of postpartum depression.
Step #1 Feed the Mommy
Step #2 Put the Mommy to Bed
Step #3 Listen to the Mommy
To find a local postpartum doula in your area...try www.cappa.net.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
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