5 Steps to Build Self Esteem in our Children

Hello parents and readers,

Recently a parent requested that I write a post which addresses the importance of building self esteem in our children and requested tips on how to encourage good self esteem in our children. In today's society, our children's' self esteem is under daily attack. With the media's portrayal of unattainable beauty and body size, we have to arm our children with the tools necessary to stand strong so that they can learn to love themselves and to appreciate their individual uniqueness. I have provided my readers with 5 steps to strengthen our child's self esteem. For more information go to www.honestfamilyservices.com.

5 Steps for Parents To Build Self Esteem in Their Children

Step #1 Be Generous with Praise.
All children need love and appreciation and thrive on positive attention.
Parents can do this by using "words" of encouragement. Use the following statements daily with your children...

1. "That's right"
2. "That is wonderful"
3. "Good Job"
4. "I like the way you..."
5. "You are improving at..."

Most Importantly
6. "I am proud of you"

Words and actions have great impact on the confidence of our children, including adolescents, remember these positive statements parents and caregivers say to them to your children DAILY.

Step #2 Give Positive Touch
All Children and adolescents thrive on positive physical responses such as...

1. Parents can smile often
2. Give a nod of approval
3. Wink at your child
4. Give a hug to show attention
5. Give kisses and tell them you love them

Step# 3 Avoid Criticism
Blame and negative judgments are at the core of poor self-esteem and can lead to emotional disorders. Avoid statements such as...

1. ANY Statements related to weight or body image. "You need to lose weight", "You need to burn calories" "You don't want to be fat do you" "You are looking too thin" "Lets go work out so you can lose a few pounds" or talking to friends or neighbors about "my child needs to lose weight".

This is a very important and prevalent issue. It is often between mothers and daughters and sometimes critical fathers towards their daughters weight. These statements can be VERY damaging. As parents, it is our job to foster good self esteem no matter what our child's body type.

Use positive statements and if needed modify food intake and increase exercise in a way that is focused on positive results. "Lets go work out so we can "stay" healthy and strong" "Lets eat some more veggies so you can grow big and strong like Mommy and Daddy" "You are already beautiful but if you want to choose an active activity to become more healthy, I will help you."

It is all in the way we say it to our children. Be positive. Never criticize body weight. Work on our own self esteems and practice saying these positive comments to our selves.
1. "I love my body"
2. "I am healthy and strong"
3. "I love my womanly curves"
4. "If I can't love myself the way I am, who will".

Step #4 Teach children about decision making.

Teach children about making "choices" and to recognize when they have made good decisions. Let them "own" their problems. If they solve them, they gain confidence in themselves. If you solve them, they'll remain dependent on you.

1. Encourage your children to make their own "choices", but remind them that there is a "consequence" to each choice. Hopefully, these natural consequences will guide them to make more smart choices in their future.

Step #5 Show children that you can laugh at yourself.
Show them that life doesn't need to be serious all the time and that some teasing is all in fun. Your sense of humor is important for their well-being.

Parents can play important roles in helping their children feel better about themselves and developing greater confidence. Doing this is important because children with good self-esteem:

Act independently
Assume responsibility
Take pride in their accomplishments
Tolerate frustration
Handle peer pressure appropriately
Attempt new tasks and challenges
Handle positive and negative emotions
Offer assistance to others

Remember, you are already taking the first step to improving your child's self esteem by educating your self.

Remember these 5 simple steps.
1. Increase Praise
2. Give Positive Touch
3. Avoid Criticism
4. Teach Decision Making Skills
5. Be able to Laugh at your self.

You have the opportunity to make a dramatic difference in your child's self concept. Let us teach and encourage our children in a positive way each day.

Best of Luck,

Michelle

Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com

10 Steps On How To Hire a Nanny

Hello readers and parents,

Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.

10 Steps to hire a nanny...

Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.

Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.

In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.

Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.

Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.

Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?

Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.

Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?

Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.

Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.

Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.

Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.

Best of Luck,

Michelle

Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com