How Can I get my 16 week old to go longer between eating times?

Hello readers,

This post is to address a common question from one of my readers... How do we expand the time our baby's can go between feedings. Ultimately the goal is to teach them to sleep through the night and to help us as parents get more sleep as well. Here was the question sent to me...

"Michelle,

I have read your blog and have questions about my son's sleeping habits. He will be 16 weeks this Sunday and is waking up anywhere from 4-6 or more times a night. He is wanting to eat (exclusively breastfed) and will eat for 5-7 minutes. He falls back asleep and is then awake again 2-3 hours later. He was 10 pounds when he was born and now weighs over 18 pounds. He seems to constantly be hungry. He can go about 2 hours during the day before he eats again. I had him going 2.5 hours up until about 2 weeks ago. He naps about 4 times during the day. The length ranges from 20 minutes to just over an hour. In order for him to fall asleep during the day he has to be bounced or rocked with white noise. Do you have any suggestions as I am about to lose my mind from lack of sleep and my back is killing me! :)"

Hello Mia,

Wow it sounds like you are spending a lot of time feeding your little one and you are not getting much sleep at all. I have a few simple suggestions which I will address for you in this post. I hope they are helpful.

Few suggestions...

1. First off, his weight is telling me that he is getting plenty to eat. This is the first indication that he is ready for a more consistent eating routine.

2. Based off his age and weight, his routine should include breastfeeding/bottle feeding him every 3-4 hours. It sounds like this is one of the issues for you right now. Think of it like this... If he eats every 2 hours he is probably only eating about 2-4 oz per feeding because your body does not have enough time to make the full 5-8 oz he needs to get through a 4 hour stretch. You have to stretch the feedings. He also seems like he is ready to start considering 2-3 tablespoons of rice cereal mixed with .5 oz breast milk or warm water. He is just a hungry boy which is okay.

3. At night...because he is eating every two hours through out the day in snack size portions...he is not getting enough food during the day to create a long stretch of not eating at night. To fix this is staying on a routine and feeding him every 3 hours to start during the day.

To start a routine it should be based on his current schedule and your ideal schedule...

example:

7am wake up breast feed

10am breastfeed

1pm breastfeed

4pm breastfeed

5pm (cereal) We want them to get a full belly for bedtime. we wouldn't want to sleep hungry either:)

7pm breastfeed

7:30pm bedtime

10pm (This usually is the last feeding before a long stretch or this feeding will be pushed back as his long stretch. Do not wake him up. Just see how long he can go. It will just get longer and longer if you can be consistent with the eating schedule.

4. He is nursing every few hours for a few minutes as a snack and as a way to soothe. To solve this you must increase the food and length between feedings during the day. This will decrease.

Hopefully this information is helpful for you. Family's can feel overwhelmed when creating and following through with a new routine which is why I suggest setting up a sleep consult with a doula or professional.

Good luck with everything and I hope you start to get more sleep.

Thank you,

Michelle Chrastil MA CPD

Honest Family Services LLC.

#303-669-0893

Toddler Sleep Issues Cont....

Hello parents and readers,

This post is dedicated to one of my readers who is struggling with her twin toddlers and their sleeping habits. I hope this information is helpful.

"Dear Michelle, I am having issues with one of my 2.5 year old toddlers and her sleeping in her own bed.
Part of the problem, and the reason I have given into her in the past, is that she shares a room with her twin sister and there really is no other option (as in no space for her to have her own room).
She aggravates her sister with her hysterics. I have used your method and it definitely works but I know she's not getting quality sleep and I certainly don't want my other daughter to loose out on quality sleep either.
When I get her in the morning she's on the floor. And at daycare they say she is always the last to wake up and doesn't want to get up and is very crabby in the afternoons.
At home I literally can't get them to nap if they are together which results in me putting one in their bed and the other on the couch with me then transferring her to the bed and I'm sure that can't be helping with me sleep training her at night.
Sorry this is so long but here's the other issue. My husband and I aren't separated but live miles apart right now. He works where we live and I work 3 hours away. So during the week I stay with family where I work and the girls are with me then we go home on the weekends. I feel like a lot of this has to be separation anxiety issues. She is such a mommy's girl and is so clingy to me in every situation.
If you can offer me any advice at all it would be so greatly appreciated!"

Response...

Hello Angela,
I hear your concerns about your daughter's sleep habits. It sounds like you are primarly concerned with the lack of sleep she has been getting. Here are some of my suggestion related to your concerns.

1. Having two homes... It sounds like your unique family situation keeps your family moving back and forth between two different homes. This can dramatically effect a toddlers sleep pattern due to a lack of consistent routine. My suggestion is to tighten up your bedtime routine, which will include consistency during the nights you stay at your family members home.
For example...
Bedtime routine starts 6:30 pm
Bath time and brush teeth 6:30-7:oopm
Story time 2 books 7:00pm
Prayer and kisses 7:15pm
Lights out by 7:30pm
The more consistent the better. This will help your little ones calm down because routine is known to bring comfort to children especially an anxious child.

2. Being a Twin... I can understand your concerns about disrupting your other daughter's sleep habits. I have worked specifically with twins for the last 5 years and my advice is to keep to your guns about having them in the same room with the same bedtime routine. If you are consistent the girls will have to find a way to live together:) They will work it out. Your daughter will get more used to it and will eventually be less disruptive. If she seems to be doing it on purpose you can use either a form of encouragement with a "sticker chart" or use a consequence such as "taking away her favorite toy" if she keeps her sister up all night. They have a long life together and it is best if they get used to sharing a room now.

3. Separation anxiety... If your daughter is very attached to you and would like to be with you at all times, then you will need to be very consistent in your routine so she knows what is coming next. It is time for her to know she is safe sleeping in her own room. A good way to help with separation anxiety is to provide a consistent routine and involve a special "lovey". A "lovey" can be a favorite animal or blanket that she already has or you can purchase something new and call it her "big girl lovey" to show her you are proud of her for sleeping in her big girl room with her sister.

Try these three tips and give the routine a chance to work by being consistent for at least 2 weeks. Good luck with those two little girls and let us know how things work out.

Sincerely,

Michelle

Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
http://www.honestfamilyservices.com/

A Post for Dads

Dear Parents and Readers,

There is currently a movement going on with the new generation of fathers. Dad's are tired of being on the back burner of parenting and are starting to make time with their children as important as their careers. It is about time that dads now have the opportunity to to both, family and career. Because I am not a father I think it is important for me to team up with a company that specilizes in understanding issues related to fatherhood. Daddy Doula is a company focused on meeting the needs of the modern father. Daddy Doula offers classes designed specifically for men, created by men.

Learn more about finding support for new dads and tap into a network of fathers who are dedicated to playing an active role in their children's lives. Learn more by visiting Daddy Doula's blog or their website at http://www.wherefathersgrow.com/.


Thanks Daddy Doula for finally providing a company dedicated to meeting the needs of new fathers.

Sincerely,

Michelle

Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services
www.honestfamilyservices.com