This post is dedicated to one of my readers who is struggling with her twin toddlers and their sleeping habits. I hope this information is helpful.
"Dear Michelle, I am having issues with one of my 2.5 year old toddlers and her sleeping in her own bed.
Part of the problem, and the reason I have given into her in the past, is that she shares a room with her twin sister and there really is no other option (as in no space for her to have her own room).
She aggravates her sister with her hysterics. I have used your method and it definitely works but I know she's not getting quality sleep and I certainly don't want my other daughter to loose out on quality sleep either.
When I get her in the morning she's on the floor. And at daycare they say she is always the last to wake up and doesn't want to get up and is very crabby in the afternoons.
At home I literally can't get them to nap if they are together which results in me putting one in their bed and the other on the couch with me then transferring her to the bed and I'm sure that can't be helping with me sleep training her at night.
Sorry this is so long but here's the other issue. My husband and I aren't separated but live miles apart right now. He works where we live and I work 3 hours away. So during the week I stay with family where I work and the girls are with me then we go home on the weekends. I feel like a lot of this has to be separation anxiety issues. She is such a mommy's girl and is so clingy to me in every situation.
If you can offer me any advice at all it would be so greatly appreciated!"
Response...
Hello Angela,
I hear your concerns about your daughter's sleep habits. It sounds like you are primarly concerned with the lack of sleep she has been getting. Here are some of my suggestion related to your concerns.
1. Having two homes... It sounds like your unique family situation keeps your family moving back and forth between two different homes. This can dramatically effect a toddlers sleep pattern due to a lack of consistent routine. My suggestion is to tighten up your bedtime routine, which will include consistency during the nights you stay at your family members home.
For example...
Bedtime routine starts 6:30 pm
Bath time and brush teeth 6:30-7:oopm
Story time 2 books 7:00pm
Prayer and kisses 7:15pm
Lights out by 7:30pm
The more consistent the better. This will help your little ones calm down because routine is known to bring comfort to children especially an anxious child.
2. Being a Twin... I can understand your concerns about disrupting your other daughter's sleep habits. I have worked specifically with twins for the last 5 years and my advice is to keep to your guns about having them in the same room with the same bedtime routine. If you are consistent the girls will have to find a way to live together:) They will work it out. Your daughter will get more used to it and will eventually be less disruptive. If she seems to be doing it on purpose you can use either a form of encouragement with a "sticker chart" or use a consequence such as "taking away her favorite toy" if she keeps her sister up all night. They have a long life together and it is best if they get used to sharing a room now.
Hello Angela,
I hear your concerns about your daughter's sleep habits. It sounds like you are primarly concerned with the lack of sleep she has been getting. Here are some of my suggestion related to your concerns.
1. Having two homes... It sounds like your unique family situation keeps your family moving back and forth between two different homes. This can dramatically effect a toddlers sleep pattern due to a lack of consistent routine. My suggestion is to tighten up your bedtime routine, which will include consistency during the nights you stay at your family members home.
For example...
Bedtime routine starts 6:30 pm
Bath time and brush teeth 6:30-7:oopm
Story time 2 books 7:00pm
Prayer and kisses 7:15pm
Lights out by 7:30pm
The more consistent the better. This will help your little ones calm down because routine is known to bring comfort to children especially an anxious child.
2. Being a Twin... I can understand your concerns about disrupting your other daughter's sleep habits. I have worked specifically with twins for the last 5 years and my advice is to keep to your guns about having them in the same room with the same bedtime routine. If you are consistent the girls will have to find a way to live together:) They will work it out. Your daughter will get more used to it and will eventually be less disruptive. If she seems to be doing it on purpose you can use either a form of encouragement with a "sticker chart" or use a consequence such as "taking away her favorite toy" if she keeps her sister up all night. They have a long life together and it is best if they get used to sharing a room now.
3. Separation anxiety... If your daughter is very attached to you and would like to be with you at all times, then you will need to be very consistent in your routine so she knows what is coming next. It is time for her to know she is safe sleeping in her own room. A good way to help with separation anxiety is to provide a consistent routine and involve a special "lovey". A "lovey" can be a favorite animal or blanket that she already has or you can purchase something new and call it her "big girl lovey" to show her you are proud of her for sleeping in her big girl room with her sister.
Try these three tips and give the routine a chance to work by being consistent for at least 2 weeks. Good luck with those two little girls and let us know how things work out.Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
http://www.honestfamilyservices.com/
