Hello parents and readers,
Recently a parent requested that I write a post which addresses the importance of building self esteem in our children and requested tips on how to encourage good self esteem in our children. In today's society, our children's' self esteem is under daily attack. With the media's portrayal of unattainable beauty and body size, we have to arm our children with the tools necessary to stand strong so that they can learn to love themselves and to appreciate their individual uniqueness. I have provided my readers with 5 steps to strengthen our child's self esteem. For more information go to www.honestfamilyservices.com.
5 Steps for Parents To Build Self Esteem in Their Children
Step #1 Be Generous with Praise.
All children need love and appreciation and thrive on positive attention.
Parents can do this by using "words" of encouragement. Use the following statements daily with your children...
1. "That's right"
2. "That is wonderful"
3. "Good Job"
4. "I like the way you..."
5. "You are improving at..."
Most Importantly
6. "I am proud of you"
Words and actions have great impact on the confidence of our children, including adolescents, remember these positive statements parents and caregivers say to them to your children DAILY.
Step #2 Give Positive Touch
All Children and adolescents thrive on positive physical responses such as...
1. Parents can smile often
2. Give a nod of approval
3. Wink at your child
4. Give a hug to show attention
5. Give kisses and tell them you love them
Step# 3 Avoid Criticism
Blame and negative judgments are at the core of poor self-esteem and can lead to emotional disorders. Avoid statements such as...
1. ANY Statements related to weight or body image. "You need to lose weight", "You need to burn calories" "You don't want to be fat do you" "You are looking too thin" "Lets go work out so you can lose a few pounds" or talking to friends or neighbors about "my child needs to lose weight".
This is a very important and prevalent issue. It is often between mothers and daughters and sometimes critical fathers towards their daughters weight. These statements can be VERY damaging. As parents, it is our job to foster good self esteem no matter what our child's body type.
Use positive statements and if needed modify food intake and increase exercise in a way that is focused on positive results. "Lets go work out so we can "stay" healthy and strong" "Lets eat some more veggies so you can grow big and strong like Mommy and Daddy" "You are already beautiful but if you want to choose an active activity to become more healthy, I will help you."
It is all in the way we say it to our children. Be positive. Never criticize body weight. Work on our own self esteems and practice saying these positive comments to our selves.
1. "I love my body"
2. "I am healthy and strong"
3. "I love my womanly curves"
4. "If I can't love myself the way I am, who will".
Step #4 Teach children about decision making.
Teach children about making "choices" and to recognize when they have made good decisions. Let them "own" their problems. If they solve them, they gain confidence in themselves. If you solve them, they'll remain dependent on you.
1. Encourage your children to make their own "choices", but remind them that there is a "consequence" to each choice. Hopefully, these natural consequences will guide them to make more smart choices in their future.
Step #5 Show children that you can laugh at yourself.
Show them that life doesn't need to be serious all the time and that some teasing is all in fun. Your sense of humor is important for their well-being.
Parents can play important roles in helping their children feel better about themselves and developing greater confidence. Doing this is important because children with good self-esteem:
Act independently
Assume responsibility
Take pride in their accomplishments
Tolerate frustration
Handle peer pressure appropriately
Attempt new tasks and challenges
Handle positive and negative emotions
Offer assistance to others
Remember, you are already taking the first step to improving your child's self esteem by educating your self.
Remember these 5 simple steps.
1. Increase Praise
2. Give Positive Touch
3. Avoid Criticism
4. Teach Decision Making Skills
5. Be able to Laugh at your self.
You have the opportunity to make a dramatic difference in your child's self concept. Let us teach and encourage our children in a positive way each day.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
10 Steps On How To Hire a Nanny
Hello readers and parents,
Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.
10 Steps to hire a nanny...
Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.
Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.
In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.
Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.
Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.
Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?
Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.
Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?
Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.
Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.
Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.
Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Finding childcare for our precious little ones can be stressful. It seems as though as soon as you get a comfortable child care arrangement, something happens and it is time to repeat the process all over again. As part of my services I offer families support by matching up famililes with qualified nannies. The average cost of paying a nanny agency is between $950-$2000 per nanny placement. As you can see it can be expensive. It is also frustrating when the nanny you hired needs to be replaced a few months after hire. If hiring through an agency is too expensive or if you prefer to do the legwork yourself here are a few tips.
10 Steps to hire a nanny...
Step #1 Brainstorm with your partner on which qualities and qualifications you would like your new nanny to have.
Step #2 Create a paragraph long description of what you are looking for in a nanny. Include the days and hours she will be required to work, the minimal qualifications, and a salary range. Request that the applicants send you a resume and 2 references and include an email address for them to send you their materials.
In deciding on a salary range, an average hourly rate for a live-out nanny starts around $14 an hour and ranges up to $22 an hour based on education and qualifications. In choosing a salary range that is affordable for your family, consider how many children you have, how much flexibility you require, and the overall demand of the nanny position.
Step #3 Post the job posting. There are a few different online options where you can post you listing. I suggest posting at a few different locations.
http://www.craigslist.com/
http://www.gonannies.com/
Nannies from care.com.
Step #4 Screen the Applicants. This step requires the most time. Review the applicants and pick your top 5 applicants.
Step #5 Begin brief phone interviews. Contact your top 5 applicants and ask a few brief questions.
1. Do the required hours for this position fit with your schedule?
2. What is your reason for seeking a nanny position?
3. If you could choose one word to describe yourself what would it be?
4. Tell me one reason I should offer you the position versus another applicant?
Step #6 Decide on your top 3 applicants and set up in-person interviews. Interviews typically take place at the families home. Ideally it is best to have you and your partner sit through the interviews so you both can be a part of the process. If one parent is not available it is sometimes helpful to have a friend or a family member sit in on the interview for a second opinion.
Step #7 Pick your top two applicants and call references. Ask each reference at least a few questions.
1. Tell me about "______" as an employee?
2. How long did "______" work for you? what was the reason she left the position?
3. How would you describe her relationship with your children?
4. Would you refer her for this position?
5. Is there anything else you think would be important for me to know?
Step #8 Choose your top applicant and have them sign a release form to conduct a background check. You will need their signature and a copy of their drivers license.
Step #9 Run background check. Online resources are available for minimal price.
I suggest doing a price check through either www.care.com or www.gonannies.com.
Step #10 Make an offer to your top applicant. Once she accepts the position I suggest writing up a simple contract including the salary rate, expectations, paid holidays, and additional requirements for the position. Both you and the nanny sign the contract and keep a copy for reference.
Congratulations! You now have a nanny. The typical length of a nanny contract is one year. If you need any additional support or are interested in using my services to minimize the process, you can contact me at www.honestfamilyservices.com.
Best of Luck,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
How do I teach my baby to go to sleep on their own?
Dear parents and readers,
Teaching our infants to sleep through the night can be tiresome and frustrating, however it is very important. There are different ways that experts suggest on how to teach an infant to self soothe or fall asleep on their own. Recently a concerned parent asked me if there is a way to teach self soothing without letting your infant "cry it out". My answer to that is "yes, but" there are ways to teach your infant how to soothe themselves through opportunities and practice, however there is no way to guarantee that tears will not be shed.
Most families are working towards a goal of being able to put their child down for bed or nap while they are awake and being confident that their child can fall asleep on their own. Now this may not happen until a child is 2 or 3 years old or as early as 4 or 5 months, however it depends on the parents expectations and determination.
Before I provide suggestion on how to teach self soothing without "crying it out",
Lets talk a little about crying. Infant crying is the most important way babies have of communicating their needs. Babies don't have spoken words to tell us what they need or like or feel. Instead, they have a language all their own. Feet-kicking, hand-waving, head-turning, and different kinds of cries are the "words." Understanding crying is important for parents so they can learn to distinguish which need their infant is expressing based on the sound of their cry. In regards to teaching infants to self soothe, just remember if your child is safe, fed, dry, and securely attached then they will be completely okay crying for a few minutes without you reassuring them. With every transition there is likely to be a few tears since it is your babies way of communicating and they have learned how to get what they want.
Here are a few tips on how to teach your baby how to fall asleep on their own...
First off, developmentally an infant is capable of developing a regular sleep routine and self soothing techniques around the age of 4months. Prior to the 4 month mark, infants are still needing to eat every few hours throughout the night and most importantly, are learning that they can trust their caregivers to meet their needs.
The first thing to distinguish before you start teaching your child self soothing, is to decide whether or not your child feels safe. This means that you want to think about how your infant has been treated over the last few months. Questions to ask yourself include, When my baby cries has she been tended to? Has her environment been consistent? Has she been exposed to any violence or stress within the home? When I pick her up to soothe her does she calm down quickly? Does she know that her needs will be met when she needs something?
If your answers point to the fact that she has been given every opportunity to bond to a caregiver and she now knows that her needs will be met, this means that she has more than likely developed a "secure relationship". This means she knows she is safe and she trusts you. Now you can begin to challenge her by teaching her self soothing which is a valuable lifelong skill.
Teaching Self Soothing
1. Develop a regular sleep and feeding routine. (See Post on Sleeping Through the Night)
2. Routine should include a calm dark room with consistent white noise. It should also include a tight swaddle or a sleep sac for larger babies. This routine may also include a bottle and up to 10 minutes of rocking.
3. First goal is to be consistent with sleep routine for at least 2 weeks. Once baby is used to sleeping in crib at certain times, then we can begin to wean her from needing to be rocked/swayed to sleep.
4. Introduce opportunities to self soothe. The way to do this is to follow your normal sleep routine, which probably includes rocking, but start by laying your infant down in crib before they fall completely asleep. Walk away for 5 minutes. If they did not fall asleep, pick them up and rock them again. Try to lay them down again before they are completely asleep and repeat process. This allows opportunities for them to learn to self soothe. It may not work on day one so I suggest trying 2 or 3 times on the first day then go ahead and let them fall completely asleep so they get their nap. Repeat this everyday. They will eventually get more used to the idea and will eventually fall asleep during the 5 minutes where you walk away and they are left alone.
Some infants cry when they are put down before completely asleep. The first step is to lay them down and walk away for 5 minutes. When babies are really tired, they may fall asleep on their own after about 5-10 minutes of fussing or they will get mad and begin to cry hard. The goal is to pick them up and try again before they get really mad because it will be difficult for them to fall back asleep.
5. Be consistent. This is the closest option I know for not letting your child "cry it out" because it is only allowing a short 5 minute window for infants to try to put themselves to sleep or cry. "Cry it out" method includes increased periods of time where the infants are left alone to cry themselves asleep, thus eventually learning that they Can fall asleep without mom. The crying will subsequently decrease during each nap until they go down peacefully.
Remember, your child knows that they are safe and they know that you have not abandoned them. You are making the important parenting decision to teach you child a new life long skill. Sometimes parenting decisions are difficult although they are very important. You can do this. It is in the best interest of your entire family. Just be consistent and give yourself breaks. You can expect to see progress after at least 1 week of consistency. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Teaching our infants to sleep through the night can be tiresome and frustrating, however it is very important. There are different ways that experts suggest on how to teach an infant to self soothe or fall asleep on their own. Recently a concerned parent asked me if there is a way to teach self soothing without letting your infant "cry it out". My answer to that is "yes, but" there are ways to teach your infant how to soothe themselves through opportunities and practice, however there is no way to guarantee that tears will not be shed.
Most families are working towards a goal of being able to put their child down for bed or nap while they are awake and being confident that their child can fall asleep on their own. Now this may not happen until a child is 2 or 3 years old or as early as 4 or 5 months, however it depends on the parents expectations and determination.
Before I provide suggestion on how to teach self soothing without "crying it out",
Lets talk a little about crying. Infant crying is the most important way babies have of communicating their needs. Babies don't have spoken words to tell us what they need or like or feel. Instead, they have a language all their own. Feet-kicking, hand-waving, head-turning, and different kinds of cries are the "words." Understanding crying is important for parents so they can learn to distinguish which need their infant is expressing based on the sound of their cry. In regards to teaching infants to self soothe, just remember if your child is safe, fed, dry, and securely attached then they will be completely okay crying for a few minutes without you reassuring them. With every transition there is likely to be a few tears since it is your babies way of communicating and they have learned how to get what they want.
Here are a few tips on how to teach your baby how to fall asleep on their own...
First off, developmentally an infant is capable of developing a regular sleep routine and self soothing techniques around the age of 4months. Prior to the 4 month mark, infants are still needing to eat every few hours throughout the night and most importantly, are learning that they can trust their caregivers to meet their needs.
The first thing to distinguish before you start teaching your child self soothing, is to decide whether or not your child feels safe. This means that you want to think about how your infant has been treated over the last few months. Questions to ask yourself include, When my baby cries has she been tended to? Has her environment been consistent? Has she been exposed to any violence or stress within the home? When I pick her up to soothe her does she calm down quickly? Does she know that her needs will be met when she needs something?
If your answers point to the fact that she has been given every opportunity to bond to a caregiver and she now knows that her needs will be met, this means that she has more than likely developed a "secure relationship". This means she knows she is safe and she trusts you. Now you can begin to challenge her by teaching her self soothing which is a valuable lifelong skill.
Teaching Self Soothing
1. Develop a regular sleep and feeding routine. (See Post on Sleeping Through the Night)
2. Routine should include a calm dark room with consistent white noise. It should also include a tight swaddle or a sleep sac for larger babies. This routine may also include a bottle and up to 10 minutes of rocking.
3. First goal is to be consistent with sleep routine for at least 2 weeks. Once baby is used to sleeping in crib at certain times, then we can begin to wean her from needing to be rocked/swayed to sleep.
4. Introduce opportunities to self soothe. The way to do this is to follow your normal sleep routine, which probably includes rocking, but start by laying your infant down in crib before they fall completely asleep. Walk away for 5 minutes. If they did not fall asleep, pick them up and rock them again. Try to lay them down again before they are completely asleep and repeat process. This allows opportunities for them to learn to self soothe. It may not work on day one so I suggest trying 2 or 3 times on the first day then go ahead and let them fall completely asleep so they get their nap. Repeat this everyday. They will eventually get more used to the idea and will eventually fall asleep during the 5 minutes where you walk away and they are left alone.
Some infants cry when they are put down before completely asleep. The first step is to lay them down and walk away for 5 minutes. When babies are really tired, they may fall asleep on their own after about 5-10 minutes of fussing or they will get mad and begin to cry hard. The goal is to pick them up and try again before they get really mad because it will be difficult for them to fall back asleep.
5. Be consistent. This is the closest option I know for not letting your child "cry it out" because it is only allowing a short 5 minute window for infants to try to put themselves to sleep or cry. "Cry it out" method includes increased periods of time where the infants are left alone to cry themselves asleep, thus eventually learning that they Can fall asleep without mom. The crying will subsequently decrease during each nap until they go down peacefully.
Remember, your child knows that they are safe and they know that you have not abandoned them. You are making the important parenting decision to teach you child a new life long skill. Sometimes parenting decisions are difficult although they are very important. You can do this. It is in the best interest of your entire family. Just be consistent and give yourself breaks. You can expect to see progress after at least 1 week of consistency. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA NCC CPD
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
What is colic? Does my baby have it? What do I do?
Hello parents and readers,
The following is a one hour long audio radio interview I did on colic and how to treat colic. I was interviewed for a parenting website... www.parentinghq.com
http://www.knowledge-spot.com/phq/michellechrastil.mp3
Remember to stay calm while you try to soothe your upset baby. Infants react to their parents stress levels. They feel most calm when there caregiver can model being calm in a stressful situation.
Parents feel free to tell us about your experience dealing with a colicy baby.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
The following is a one hour long audio radio interview I did on colic and how to treat colic. I was interviewed for a parenting website... www.parentinghq.com
http://www.knowledge-spot.com/phq/michellechrastil.mp3
Remember to stay calm while you try to soothe your upset baby. Infants react to their parents stress levels. They feel most calm when there caregiver can model being calm in a stressful situation.
Parents feel free to tell us about your experience dealing with a colicy baby.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Michelle Chrastil, MA CPD NCC
Honest Family Services, LLC.
www.honestfamilyservices.com
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